Friday, July 19, 2013

Is God Getting What He Paid For?

I’m back! After quite some time without writing a post, and time before that when I was not posting regularly, I am again carving out time for the keyboard. While I was away God was at work, His hand upon me leaving me under conviction concerning a number of spiritual questions. Number one on the list strikes at the heart of my relationship with our creator: Is God getting what He paid for?

As a co-dependent I spent my teen years trying to be anything but myself. I spent inordinate amounts of energy in a state of constant change in order to give my mom what I thought would make her happy. I thought if I could become someone special my mom would stop drinking and be the person I knew when she was sober. I never could find the personality that fit the bill as the definition for the perfect son seemed somewhat fluid. Even after my mother’s passing I found myself trying to be all things to all people, twisting and flopping according to what I thought would make others happy.

It seemed only natural that what seemed to work in my family would work in other relationships, including my relationship with God. However, time and again I would find that the person I was trying to be was not the one God wanted. He had paid a price in giving His Son and when one pays for something he has expectations of what he will get in return. I found that God expects to receive the real me. He wants my heart without my attempts to be something different. Yes He knows the product is flawed and is at work refining to His specifications. For now He is pleased with receiving exactly what He paid for.

How about you? Are you trying to be something you are not in hopes of impressing God or are you giving Him exactly what He paid for?

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