Stepping Off the Co-Dependent Path

Proverbs 14:12

What would you do if you were a passenger in a car which was slowly being driven by a loved one towards the edge a cliff? Naturally you would say something to the driver to make sure they understood the peril that lies ahead. You may even attempt to turn the steering wheel or perhaps knock the car out of gear, anything to avoid the catastrophe that lies ahead. But what if your attempts to stop or redirect the vehicle failed, the driver determined to destroy both the car and lives inside? There is a point where most of us would probably jump out of the car, knowing we would be leaving a loved one to their doom. However for the co-dependent jumping from the car is not an option as the fear of switching paths is often too much to bear.

We all know the alcoholic is on a path to destruction, much like the driver in the example above. Though made light of on old television programs (think Otis on the Andy Griffith Show) in reality the alcoholic is suffering in a way that a night sleeping it off in jail will never heal. But what we often overlook is the affect the alcoholic has on family, those passengers whose only reason for being “along for the ride” is those ties which are difficult even impossible to unbind. For these co-dependents the destruction to come is inevitable and instead of trying to change course they often enable the driver to accelerate down the path.

The co-dependent does not know of a better path. To them that road toward the cliff is the only way to go. It is the path that seems right, the way to maintain some semblance of family or of ‘love’ which is a necessary part of human development. The co-dependent is paralyzed by the thought that what’s outside the car might be worse than what is in the car, better to face destruction with a loved one than to face the possibilities of choosing a different path. The co-dependent mind is locked, needing something more than the familiar reminder of how their lives are different. Simply put, no matter how brutally painful the path of co-dependency may become it is seen as the right way and/or the only way: a path not easily forsaken.

There is good news for the co-dependent. There is one who was sent to set people free, including the co-dependent. There is one who offers a different path, one that is real and offers a truly better way. He specializes in setting captives free and includes the co-dependent on his guest list. It may seem odd to the co-dependent but this deliverer does not ask for heroics, nor does he expect the co-dependent to carry the world in order to be saved. The demands to which the co-dependent has grown accustom are not a part of God’s formula, as he offers his love without condition. His is the path away from destruction; the path to eternal life and to fulfillment and joy. All he asks is that you believe in him and receive him according to the will of the one who sent him to die on the cross for your sake.

It would take years to describe the freedom I have experienced in Christ. I am not perfect but I am changed, and the old chains of co-dependency no longer direct my path. Where I once saw only the misery of life’s lowest points I now know the hope that comes with a relationship with the creator of all things. While there may be pitfalls in my path, I walk knowing there are no more cliffs. I am no longer bound to a legacy of destructive acts, free to find the truth and to avoid continuing in the way that only seems right. This is the message of the Gospel and I have seen it in my own life as the Lord has rolled up his sleeves and taken on the task of making me free.

I could never leave co-dependency on my own and no mere words could have changed my course. The power of the Gospel has changed my direction according to God’s will. He offers to use his power in the same way in the lives of all who call upon him by faith. Have you accepted the invitation to walk the path of truth?